Remember when robots were fun and friendly companions? That robot on “Lost in Space” that would tag along like a golden retriever until it was time to shout a warning “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger.”of course R2-D2 C-3 PO were cool, they were clever and always on your side.
But now I’m not so sure. Sure that roomba will vacuum your carpet and that new app Amazon and Siri will take notes and schedule appointments, but she can’t be trusted. There’s a robot at the gas pump, there’s a robot that checks you out at the grocery store. Soon there will be robots that will drive cars and trucks. No longer takes a real police officer to write you a ticket for speeding down the highway or running a red light. There’s a bot for that.
I’m pretty sure that two of the news anchors on channel 13 Are robots.
And, drum machine roll please, this article is being written by the DunkleBot 3000!
That’s right, if you can’t beat ’em join ’em.
You are among the very first to learn about my latest venture DunkleBots is your 24/7 snarky companion.
Who among us hasn’t had the urge to sip some Pinot Noir and talk trash about the neighbors and been unable to find a willing co drinker/trasher?
Well your prayers have been answered. And not with that damn form letter either.
The DunkleBot3000 snarkipanion is here to sit by your side as you pass judgement and crack wise on those who deserve it the most. Those smug self righteous people who live right down the block. Not you, Harold, relax…
The DunkleBot 3000 will refill your wine glass, clean up spills, remind you that you have children who would like dinner and contribute first class snarky digs that even your best girlfriend from senior year at college would admit are the sharpest cattiest nastiest shade ever thrown.
This is the future of bitchiness, bitches. And here’s the best news of all. As a charter purchaser of the DunkleBot 3000 we will program it so that you are never a topic of it’s digital desiccation. Such a deal!
And that’s not all! The DunkleBot 3000 can also respond to list serv threads with just the right balance of wit snark and undeniable logic so that those interminable threads stop right there. You get the last word and it is the good word. You need to have the DunkleBot 3000 and you need it now. And now you can have it – FOR FREE!
Now, you may wonder how we can make this incredible offer. And that’s just the kind of thinking that will keep you enslaved. Stop thinking and start accepting the robots into your life. Obey.
And eat Roberto’s Pizza, 4 out of 5 robots agree.