Friends and Neighbors, your long nightmare of uncertainty and doubt is OVER.
Ask Dunkleberger is here!
So if you have a question about anything at all – Your life, your wife, your job, your pets, stinkbugs, citrus fruits, travel, wet basements, investments, astronomy, astrology, agoraphobia, needlepoint – seriously, anything at all – you just send it on over to your old pal Ned and I will give you an answer.
Sometimes it may even be the answer you were looking for, but don’t count on that.
Send those questions to firstname.lastname@example.org
And get ready to Win!